ODE TO ALL MOMS

So I have been talking amongst a lot of women lately between my jobs, coworkers, patients, neighbors etc etc. It all seems like us moms are feeling the same. The constant pull of having to be perfect!!

We had a patient come in the other day saying "is it horrible that Im so excited to be here at the dentist for a little break? And then how do I not feel guilty about just saying that?" She said how her neighbors all look like anthropology, their houses look like anthropology, their kids look like they walked out of a gap magazine... and then she feels like she has to ask everyone if there is anything she can do for them like make a meal or something and when they reply with yes she thinks oh CRAP!!! I cant even get dinner on my own table most the time how am I gonna make dinner for you and your family?! Why did I ask that??

Then there is the stay at home mom guilt. I was talking to a neighbor who said..you know how everyone always asks well what do you do? What is it that you are accomplishing? And as you sit there thinking they go off about how they are sewing, cooking for a magazine, publishing a book, crafting every tuesday, designing other peoples homes, being on tv or the easy stuff like getting an award for cleanest house on the block every day all day long with 3 perfectly behaved children at all times.....and then youre listening to that as you look around your house with dirty clothes on the stairs...dishes that need to be put away...dinner needing to be made..your child with chocolate and pizza all over his face and hands running around in his diaper and a dirty shirt..and you remembering you still havent put deodorant on or makeup for the day (and its 10 minutes before your husband is supposed to come home).....then its off to hurrying to get dinner done and then somehow cant get your child to bathe and get in bed at the same time every night and then sit down as you look over at your sweet husband wanting to talk and vent..and hes sleeping blissfully. Gotta love it.

Now There is nothing against all those accomplishments in fact thats downright inspiring to see moms doing those things so dont get me wrong. We arent pulling you down for doing those things, if anything we are all envious of you and wish we could be doing that ourselves!! We are just saying sometimes it would be nice to just have dinner ready at 5:30 for our family and hubby when he gets home and say thats our accomplishment and not get a look of disapproval. Im sure we have all felt that way whether we are doing all those things mentioned or not.

Then there is the working moms. Wow..talk about guilt on your shoulders every day. And not just for you..but for your husbands as well. Most hubbies dont like the fact that their wives are working..its like a whack at their manhood for not being the SOLE provider for their families. Then there you are...you get up, race to get ready because that extra 15 minutes of sleep was sooo worth it to be just a bit behind...you grab everything you need, make lunch for anyone in the family you need to, grab your baby get him/her in the car, make sure you have everything in the diaper bag race them to the babysitter and find out you only have one shoe and the lid to the sippy is missing, get to work and notice you left your lunch on the counter at home (missing lunch again), go crazy at work with all the demands there and proving yourself as a woman that you are capable of working hard and getting promotions etc etc just as well as anyone else, getting a phone call in the middle of something EXTREMELY important saying your child is sick or has pink eye at school and needs to be picked up right then and no one is able to go get her/him....then you race to the grocery store and dont tell your babysitter so you can actually finish grocery shopping (cause shopping with an almost 2 year old is almost impossible now) and you feel guilty the whole time...you get everything out and realize you left the wallet in the car...run out grab it come back, make everyone wait..finally get it all in the car, go grab your son/daughter from the babysitter race home grab your baby, the diaper bag, your purse and coats and drop them all in the front living room child included hahaha, then run outside and try to grab as many grocery bags of food you can get in your 2 little hands to bring inside to lessen the amount of fighting your child out the door, get most of it in the fridge/freezer/pantry (in between chasing your child who has now carried the bananas, the chips and anything else into different rooms...) and THEN you realize you didnt get the main thing you needed for dinner that night if you had gotten around to planning it. Improv comes in and mac n cheese it is!! WOO HOO!!! Your brain is still swimming so you dont even realize your child has been calling your name for the last 5 minutes and you have barely acknowledged your husband has come home and is there and then if thats not enough..you fight your child or children to get to bed after baths drinks and if your lucky to remember to say your prayers with them and read scriptures (cause we are supposed to and should but arent very good at it consistently) and sometimes its a good night and they are tired out so they go to bed easy yes!! But you walk away feeling guilty you deliberately didnt say prayers with them because you were afraid it would make them wake up more and not go down so easily.... and on top of all that.... youre supposed to find time for yourself. ya right...and your poor husband is trying to help or not help but you just push him out of the way because you have too much to do....

WOW!!! CAn you say overload!!! The underlying thing im feeling here is... why is it that we have to live PERFECTLY... why cant we just live each day wanting to do better than we did yesterday or get one thing on our to do list done that day? And why do we feel guilt when we should give ourselves a break? if we did and tried our best that day why cant that be enough?? I dont know if im speaking for everyone but I know a lot of moms just want to slow down and cherish the moments better. How can we help ourselves? Any ideas?